A Thousand Kisses Deep
by SacrificedAlice
Summary: "It had been exactly a year ago today. Ichigo opened a third can of Sapporo." IchiIshi oneshot as part of my own personal writing challenge. Based on the Leonard Cohen song of the same name. T for sexual references and language.


A Thousand Kisses Deep

_AN; This piece was written for my own personal Leonard Cohen Challenge. It is based on Leonard Cohen's song 'A Thousand Kisses Deep'. T for sexual references. One of thirty-nine (hopefully). For reference, Sapporo is a Japanese beer brand._

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><p>One year.<p>

It had been exactly a year ago today. Ichigo opened a third can of Sapporo. At 17, he wasn't supposed to drink alcohol yet, but it made his body warm and his memory hazy, and right now that was all he cared about.

It hadn't been a particularly messy break-up, as far as teenage relationships go. A few months of rampant sex followed by a series of petty arguments that were blown out of all proportion, and both parties were assured that a split was for the best. They'd decided to remain friends, but their relationship was fractious at best. They mainly avoided each other at school, and only helped out each other's Hollow hunts when it was absolutely necessary. Both missed the strange friendship they'd used to share, but neither knew how to deal with the awkwardness between them, or perhaps were too proud to try, so it was just left.

"We were too young. We went too fast. We made too many promises," Ichigo muttered to himself between gulps of beer. Indeed, all of these statements were true, to some extent, but none of them got to the root of the problem.

The relationship began, as so many do, almost by accident. Ichigo had, under protest, carried a slightly injured Ishida home from a hunt, after failing to persuade him to accept first aid. As Ichigo set the boy down, he stumbled slightly, and Ishida found himself held against Ichigo's chest, concerned eyes locked with mildly dazed ones. Somewhere in that moment, the gap between their lips had closed for just a few seconds. There was a nervous laugh, and awkward silence, and then they collided, Ishida fumbling with his house keys, desperately trying to unlock his front door without breaking this new contact. They staggered inside and shut out the world, still caught in a kiss that was all adrenaline and hormones. They slept together in the hallway, too needy to make it to the bedroom, too desperate to care.

At first, it was simple. They would meet in the middle of the night, spend an hour or two hunting Hollows, and then retire to Ishida's apartment to sleep together. There was nothing in it; simply two friends working together to satisfy a need. Until things started changing.

_Exhausted, the two collapse on the bed, the sheets tangled around them. Ichigo places his arms around Ishida's shoulders and pulls him close, gently kissing his friend's hair._

"_I love you, Uryuu," he murmurs absently. He stiffens as he realises what he's just said, realises how it's changed the dynamic of their friendship._

_Ishida turns his head slightly, so that their eyes meet. He stares questioningly for a few seconds, but then his expression softens. "I'm so glad you said it first."_

_They kiss then, not desperate and filled with lust, but passionate and charged with unexplored emotion. As they pull away, neither can stop smiling. They regard each other for a time, taking in the warmth of their affection. They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and do nothing else until they fall asleep, still entwined in each other's embrace._

Ichigo finished his beer. He looked over to his desk, which was littered with empty cans. How many was he on now? Five? Six? He stood up, and collected the spent ones. He walked (stumbled) over to his wastepaper basket, and chucked the cans in, one by one.

"Love." Clank. "How stupid." Clank. "Should've kept it as just sex." Clank. "We were no way mature enough to call it love." Clank. "Why would I even love that jerk?" Clank. "Him and his stupid, bloody Quincy pride." Clank. "Fuck!" Clank. Seven cans.

And there, Ichigo supposed, was the true reason. Pride. Not just Ishida's, but his own as well. Pride that was the thing that made them rush around to tell all their friends. Pride that made them use words like "love" and "protect" and "forever". Pride that was the thing that had them always trying to outdo each other, always try to be the most caring, buy the most beautiful gifts, satisfy the other the most when they made love. Pride that turn even the slightest of irritations into a cataclysmic fight, and pride that made them both refuse to cry.

It was lust that brought them together, pride that carried them, and pride used as an excuse for stubbornness that eventually drove them apart.

Ichigo collapsed back onto his bed, too woozy to consider searching for the rest of his alcohol. He vaguely wondered why he even had two six packs stowed under his bed, then it occurred to him that of course, Isshin knew what day it was, and for once had simply left him alone to his thoughts.

It was odd, though. It wasn't until today that Ichigo had even cared about losing Ishida. Sure, he missed their friendship, and he hated the awkwardness, and he even missed the sex, but he never missed the relationship itself. After it was over, Ichigo had considered it and decided it wasn't even a real relationship in the first place, just a bunch of stupid hormones. So why did Isshin think Ichigo was likely to need enough alcohol to drink himself to death, and, more importantly, why was he drinking it? Perhaps it was the haunted look in Ishida's eyes today. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd skipped his last lesson, leaving Ichigo to spend the hour wondering where he'd gone. Perhaps it was because Ishida, too, had never shown any signs of missing him until today.

There was a soft buzzing noise. Ichigo delved into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his mobile phone. He flipped up the lid, to be greeted by one new message.

_Ishida Uryuu:  
><em>_Happy anniversary. Let's get dinner.x_

_Reply: to Ishida Uryuu:  
><em>_I don't think I can walk right now, but I have five spare cans of beer. Let's do dinner another time, but you could always come and get wrecked with me.x_

_Ishida Uryuu:  
><em>_What makes you think I'd do a stupid thing like that? I'll be right over.x_

Maybe, after this long, they'd put down their pride.


End file.
